How often do things turn out different than the way you wanted and you don't like that? Well I have a lot of experience with things not turning out the way I want as well. I would make a plan, it wouldn't turn out, so I would get frustrated and then make another plan, and it would tease me with working for a bit but end up not turning out again... so then I started making plans for what to do when plans didn't turn out and just experienced more frustration on top of frustration.
One day I read a book that helped me understand what to do in this situation and it changed my world! I learned that when I seemed to have no control in changing undesired outcomes into how I wanted them to be instead, I did have the power to change how I felt about these experiences and that made the world of difference. I just had to stop focusing my attention on how life didn't turn out the way I wanted, to instead focus on allowing, accepting and making the best of these experience as they were. I learned a lot of ways to make great variations of lemonade!
This is really very simple but can sound ridiculous at same time, as logically we think that if we allow something to happen that we don't like we'll be stuck with things we don't like. In fact it is the exact opposite, that what we resist persists. When we let go of the resistant emotions that are attached to experiences we find not wanted, our experience and perception of them will quickly changes. As a result, the thing that we are experiencing changes.
We get so stuck with outcomes in our head that we forget the outside reality of what is really happening. We want this, but got that instead so we are disappointed and unhappy. What we didn't get does not actually exist other than a desire in our mind, but what we did get does exist in reality. In other words what happened is the reality, but we often push that away for wanting some other reality other that what is presented to us.
When we push away what life brings us we will always be making new plans designed to get us somewhere other than where we are. We can spend a decade or even a whole lifetime trying to avoid what we don't like and missing the life that is presently right here. If instead we just allow ourselves to be with what life has brought us instead of resisting, then it will actually have the chance to be seen with eyes and heart wide open. When looking back on life experiences like this that I accepted and made the best of, they often turned out to be the best things that ever happened to me!
P.S. If you know what I am talking about, but you don't quite know how to reframe how you feel about difficult things, send me an e-mail and I would be happy to give you a free 1/2 hr phone or in-person consultation to talk about how I can help you with this. Contact Arne