Anxiety Is Caused By Trying To Be Something That We Are Not.

April 29, 2015

 

Anxiety is simply a natural by-product of all the years of not expressing our true feelings and emotions when they happened. When we were kids we heard messages like: How could you be so stupid, stop that, don't be a cry baby, do this, do that, you should have known better, don't talk to me with that tone, I'm disappointed in you, and one of the all time classics: you should be ashamed of yourself. These messages basically told us that that how we felt and acted in the moment was wrong and not appropriate. From our first breath our survival depended on our parents. It is natural to place our trust in what they said about our behaviours.

 

What happened with this is that we forwent the natural behaviour of looking to our inner self to tell us how we feel and how we should express our feelings, and instead began to look to our parents to tell us how we should feel and act. We stopped expressing our true feelings and emotions of who we were, to instead keep the peace to support our parents to keep putting a roof over our head and feeding us. In essence, we stopped being who we were, and did our best to meet their high expectations. We became an image identity based on guilt, punishment and shame.

 

Now think of all the emotions and feelings that we did have that we stuffed down to try and meet the standards expected of us. What we stuffed was a life force energy that was designed to do only one thing... to express through our body experience. What happens when you hold your breath? Walk up a steep hill and see how much resistance you get when you hold your breath. It's the same thing with all the feelings and emotions we held in and didn't let out. This just became an unconscious habit that we don't even realize we were doing, that eventually manifests as more and more resistance to get our attention, like with holding our breath... hence anxiety.

 

Where did all this un-expressed feeling and emotion go that we kept stuffing down? It's stuck in our psyche. How much wasted energy does it take to keep following our childhood pattern of putting on an outside image to meet expectations of others? Ever feel drained? There's a huge conflict between all those unexpressed feelings, and that unconscious habit of trying to fit others expectations. 

 

Anxiety is caused by trying to be what we are not. It's the resistance between who we are that we have held in over the years, and who we've been falsely representing ourselves as to the world.

 

Healing anxiety is a matter of reconciling this gap, learning how to accept and process all our feelings through our body as they authentically are, then we won't have to put on that fake image anymore.

 

Arne Pedersen

 

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