Making a change is like taking care of a garden. We really need to get clear on what plants we want to stay and what are the weeds that need to go. If we want our garden to be a certain way we need to support this intention with congruent actions to create the optimal conditions for the plants we want and to weed out the rest.
If we are wanting to create a change in our lives, whether it be an inner goal such as letting go of stress or some unhealthy habit, or a worldly goal that we want to accomplish, we need to cultivate the right conditions with clear intent and purposeful action to support it to happen.
When we have negative thoughts that undermine our confidence in our goals we need to weed them out like tending to a garden. When we notice sabotaging thoughts we can sit with and observe the feelings sensations in our body and follow our breathing. This will pull our attention away from any power the thoughts have over us. This breaks the hold of them like uprooting weeds from a garden. By doing this we are creating the optimal conditions for our inner garden to thrive with self acceptance and self love that will support our confidence in achieving our goals.
Making conscious change requires us to first change the relationship with ourselves to match the conditions of the outcome we want to create, which will then pull the desired goal into our experience of having it.