When I was a kid my dad was a carpenter and my mom often took me to the job sites where he was framing a house. The first thing I would do is climb up on the highest part of the house that was built so far, and my favourite was of course the roof. My dad would ask my mom, where is Arne, and they would look around for me until they realized I was up on the roof. This became a thing that when we came to the job site and they wondered where I was, they just looked up high and would usually find me somewhere up there. From the moment I got out of the car I just went for the roof as fast as I could up the bare 2×4 walls. I never questioned my ability to do this, and if I had I probably wouldn’t have been able to do it.
If you are challenged with anxiety, negative thoughts, low self esteem or self worth, then chances are you probably want that to change. Change requires change, so if we want the anxiety to change then we have to be willing to change. It cannot happen any other way!
When I was a kid and liked climbing up on the rooftops I never questioned my ability, I could do it, which I know enabled me to do it so effortlessly. It was an amazing feeling to get up on that high place like I was on top of the world. If I was stuck in fear I would’ve been crippled in fear and unable to do it. Anxiety, limiting thoughts, and fears work the same way, as well as a positive belief we can do something holds true too. When we realize how these beliefs can either block or support our success we can simply practice stretching our comfort zone bit by bit to allow us to create positive beliefs and the confidence to keep doing more of the same.
Becoming confident requires being able to be with what we feel. When we can do that, we can then handle the feelings and emotions that arise through doing new things as we keep stretching ourselves. This leads to emotional competence.
Simply practice taking small steps with something you want to do that will stretch you a bit. Just breathe into the feeling sensations of what you feel through the whole experience. With practice, bit by bit, you will be able to expand your comfort zone bigger and bigger, so eventually it is so large it can encompass the thing you want to achieve. This only takes regular practice… and as the old saying goes, if you keep doing what you have always done, you will get what you have always got! So if you want something that you do not want or like in your life to change, practice making conscious and deliberate changes that support the practice of successfully becoming more and more comfortable being with what you feel through stepping into the new and unknown of change!